My condolences

I'm sorry to have caught wind

Of the terrible news you are in

I do pray for you daily

That had been getting a lot easier lately

I'm at a loss of words hearing about your mom, I didn't want to believe it's real.

I can't even imagine that full impact or how that would feel.

I wish for you to find the strength to navigate the ocean of emotions you are drowning in and you start to heal.

I pray you hold on to your memories with her, focus on the good.

I know it's soon, but try not to stay too sad for to long, she just wanted to see you happy.

I am truly sorry for your loss. My prayers to you and yours. Lisa was beautiful🙏

Cycles

I don't know how much louder one could have screamed,

Just to be heard but, to go unseen

Only to have their voice echo back to them from the silence

From the inner tournament, the violence

Unwavering, unchanging life, all consuming

It became overly draining

Day in, day out, ever forward, yet never changing

Life stagnating, unable, unwilling to be open for life rearranging

Living in a long drawn cycle of sorrow and pain

Almost to the point of certainty, as predictable as the rain

All the while, still moving forward, long steady stride

Seemingly alone, if only you could meet their eyes

Perhaps just walk alongside them, with patience kindness and grace

Not everyone realizes they are walking in circles, some just need help out of that place.

Dear cowards, 11:11

For those who are too childish and inept to give a simple apology, they go miles… accountability closes distances… honesty is huge, with others and ourselves…

I'm glad to see the practice of hypocrisy is alive and well!

Feel free to keep projecting on to me, at least I'm out of that hell..

You are the people who just lie and manipulate to get whatever outcome that serves themselves the best,

But what really, seriously? fuck the rest?…

You act so well concerned for everyone else

When in reality you want to hold what you do for them over their head, to serve yourself!!

Barely even breadcrumbs of appreciation…

It's okay, I see how I matter to you all, YAY our segregation!

So friendly to the face, yet so fast for casting so many stones

While they're nostalgically hidden behind their glass walls, “safe” in their homes

The ones who hide and run from themselves, to stay clear

Unable to look in a mirror

You can run until the end of the life you were given,

Without ever having truly experienced the blessings that were hidden.

Withdrawal

Withdrawing into myself

It's the only place I'm safe, my slate

Away from all the energy,

That is full of hate

Only I can count on me,

A subject recognized as of late

I'm starting to disbelieve

In things like love and fate

Unwanted, from before I was even born

A wound I've been internalizing

Making my soul just feel tired, worn

Situations and people, their ideas and goals,

I'm no longer torn

The pain, the hate, the hurt that people continue to give

Keep that S*** coming!

They are becoming my own life lessons,

On how not to live

Every slander, and every distrust

They really are the time that make us

Boundaries

You can't control who loves you,

You can only control who you let in.

Eric's goodbye

In the space, the void

That time, that you created

The Joy, understanding and love that was cultivated

It began to rot and became degraded

Alas, I'm sure when the wind finds you, you'll be elated

I never told you a lie when I said I didn't care

at least not like others, never made you unaware

That I'm sure now, you've also discovered

Care is a light word, for a heart unrecovered

You tried to make me into something I'm not, it's okay...

My entire life is that same fight.... fought

Doors I left open, I must now close

I guess this was the end of our proverbial road...

I'm taking my energy back, back to singular hopes and dreams

Back again, to a sense of solitary.

(so much for having faith)

My high

When I'm on an emotional high,

there isn't a thing I wouldn't do

to get the people around me,

Ripped and flying on that high too!!

Be happy!

Even if it's just for a day,

Smile

Enjoy that moment, because it will fade away.

Love,

Because we all need a little to get through.

Acknowledge,

That you build your life, continue to do the best you can do.

See,

All the beauty, in all the places of the world that you can get to.

Inspire,

you never know who you could save, or who could be saving you.

-s.hillyer

Stay, please.

Someday I will be gone, possibly sooner than any of us think

Then maybe, that day, you might feel something positive for me

Agonizing moments of self reflection, extending outward for a hand to grasp

You'll mainly have yourself at that time and feel free at last…

Point every finger you have, at me

Leaving, sometimes is the only thing I've ever felt “should be”, at least for me…

Everytime, nearly, that I've asked for help it has fallen upon deaf ears…

And I've spent so long screaming for it, literally years…

Silence, so many years left in the dark, simply searching for that spark.

Eventually I'll find the strength to be alright, if I can just stay another day, not give up on this fight

KJR2

Happy to have had that chance meeting…

Sad that time was too quickly fleeting…

Heart that is silently screaming,

Emotions that are ever depleating

A senario that is ever repeating

Feelings that are written, unworthy of reading

Heartbroken

The sight of your silence

It's deafening to my heart

Reality checks

I'm not sure if I am awake,

It feels like some strange sleep state...

No longer can I divide my realities from my dreams...

Yet still have no clue as to what that actually means...

Perhaps it's all just an illusion inside whats left of my head, all of it..

Or maybe none of it, instead... I'm no longer sure of what's real...

so naturally I now question everything... to cope, to deal

The only thing I've found with that are new endings...

I need to find a new beginning.

Am I a monster? Simply draped in this human skin?

I'm my own worst enemy, almost comfortable with the empty within...

I often wonder if I'm already dead...

If only I could move past all of this dread.

Depression

It washes in like the tides

Engulfing all light

Submerging the beacons

The posts of hope

Gone into the black abyss

To live in a silhouette

Chapters

Certain people in this world,

I knew our time was fleeting,

Yet I had no idea our chapter would have been so brief.

I no longer know you,

But I remember your energy and the way you felt to me.

I just might have loved you instantly,

Forever,

In that moment of time you are frozen,

You are un-fleeting,

You are mine

Trapped

Trapped

Yet with no cage in sight

Shrouded in darkness

But standing in the light

Alone

Even when in a crowd

Silence

Yet the noise has never been so loud

Scared

In the safety of love

Hopeless

There's no help, even from above

Hollow

But with a life so full

Decaying

In this life, repeating, null

Colors

Do you see them?

The swirling, twisting, twirling of the colors

Do you see the colors mix matching to make a picture?

A feeling?

Do you see the colors all around us making life so beautiful?

Colors are all around us, we are colors.

I do not know why we have these beautiful things

Called colors, but I am soon to find out

I know who I am…

Who are you?

Void of Sorrow

Here again, with no surprise

On this course, no way to comprise

Caught in the recess of this dark grim place

Unable to move forward, stuck in space

Strange odious encompassing emotions, will these last?

Holding on but losing grasp…

Life becoming one big blur, feels like a fire

Without a stir

Things growing cold…oh, so very fast…

To become a memory of the past,

Perhaps just a nightmare, merely called a dream…

Could it be that things aren’t what they seem?

Ever growing never ending,

Gaping hole of self-hatred, significant loathing

Heavy hearts, with tired minds

Full of anger, doing time

A ghastly created void of sorrow,

That cannot be undone with time, by no ‘marrow.

Empty

A broken dream in the gutter…

Memories so sweet, rotten to mutter

Sleep soundly, tomorrow will go unseen

Only a hope lingering, only a means

Sweet silence, torment me deep!

Empty love, impossible to keep…

Tear it apart, all of it, from the very start

Walk away, keep that empty heart.

Wisp

Darling, may I be your sweet nothing?

Just a wisp of air, off of your delicate lips…

Warm, tender and sweet…

In your dreams, could I be…

Be, that sweet nothing?