I met you in an off season
At first, I thought for no reason
Just another temptation amongst the noise
But a new fear unlocked! Of not getting a choice…
Every time I look at you I am filled with guilt
I assumed my feelings would never grow, rather, instead that they would wilt
There's a pull and I'm noticing synchronicities more and more
As though I've known you before
Like I felt your energy from a time I can't even remember
I started feeling that deeper gaze, the knowing, by December
Or how I startle awake out of a dream
And you're the last thing I remember seeing
Perhaps it's because I see your name spelled out in the few things I actually do watch
Those things are all becoming too much for me not to clock
I'll admit it seemed at first like nothing too
just a little smitten, a small case of limerence
you know, whoop-dee-doo!
But then I noticed a few things
Like a physically contacted, yet still verbal, b**** slap…
around a few concepts… my head did begin to wrap.
My barrier of not trusting you, started to be more like a chain link.
You were getting through, that's not easy but there was something else too
I couldn't help but start noticing the small things you'd do, the way you think
Your personality started to seep through
I chalked it up to a small crush or slight infatuation of you
I even went as far as to think I was just that pathetic, kindness was that much of a rarity for me
But there was one truth I realized that I couldn't unsee
I've met people I've been drawn to from the start
Never heard I met someone who made me feel real Joy within my heart
That truth right there is what really sets you apart
I couldn't help to see you, sad part is I somewhat felt seen too
Now I get to live and pretend that I didn't see you
Because to somebody else you already said “I do”