Cycles

I don't know how much louder one could have screamed,

Just to be heard but, to go unseen

Only to have their voice echo back to them from the silence

From the inner tournament, the violence

Unwavering, unchanging life, all consuming

It became overly draining

Day in, day out, ever forward, yet never changing

Life stagnating, unable, unwilling to be open for life rearranging

Living in a long drawn cycle of sorrow and pain

Almost to the point of certainty, as predictable as the rain

All the while, still moving forward, long steady stride

Seemingly alone, if only you could meet their eyes

Perhaps just walk alongside them, with patience kindness and grace

Not everyone realizes they are walking in circles, some just need help out of that place.

Dear cowards, 11:11

For those who are too childish and inept to give a simple apology, they go miles… accountability closes distances… honesty is huge, with others and ourselves…

I'm glad to see the practice of hypocrisy is alive and well!

Feel free to keep projecting on to me, at least I'm out of that hell..

You are the people who just lie and manipulate to get whatever outcome that serves themselves the best,

But what really, seriously? fuck the rest?…

You act so well concerned for everyone else

When in reality you want to hold what you do for them over their head, to serve yourself!!

Barely even breadcrumbs of appreciation…

It's okay, I see how I matter to you all, YAY our segregation!

So friendly to the face, yet so fast for casting so many stones

While they're nostalgically hidden behind their glass walls, “safe” in their homes

The ones who hide and run from themselves, to stay clear

Unable to even look honestly, in a single mirror

You can run until the end of the life you were given,

Without ever having truly experienced the blessings that were hidden.

Withdrawal

Withdrawing into myself

It's the only place I'm safe, my slate

Away from all the energy,

That is full of hate

Only I can count on me,

A subject recognized as of late

I'm starting to disbelieve

In things like love and fate

Unwanted, from before I was even born

A wound I've been internalizing

Making my soul just feel tired, worn

Situations and people, their ideas and goals,

I'm no longer torn

Life's fire, to turn to coals

The pain, the hate, the hurt that people continue to give

Keep that S*** coming!

They are becoming my own life lessons,

On how not to live

Every slander, and every distrust

They really are the things that build our character, the bad moments help to make or break us.

Boundaries

You can't control who loves you,

You can only control who you let in.

Eric's goodbye

In the space, the void

That time, that you created

The Joy, understanding and love that was cultivated

It began to rot and became degraded

Alas, I'm sure when the wind finds you, you'll be elated

I never told you a lie when I said I didn't care

at least not like others, never made you unaware

That I'm sure now, you've also discovered

Care is a light word, for a heart unrecovered

You tried to make me into something I'm not, it's okay...

My entire life is that same fight.... fought

Doors I left open, I must now close

I guess this was the end of our proverbial road...

I'm taking my energy back, back to singular hopes and dreams

Back again, to a sense of solitary.

(so much for having faith in you)

My high

When I'm on an emotional high,

there isn't a thing I wouldn't do

to get the people around me,

Ripped and flying on that high too!!

Be happy!

Even if it's just for a day,

Smile

Enjoy that moment, because it will fade away.

Love,

Because we all need a little to get through.

Acknowledge,

That you build your life, continue to do the best you can do.

See,

All the beauty, in all the places of the world that you can get to.

Inspire,

you never know who you could save, or who could be saving you.

-s.hillyer

Stay, please.

Someday I will be gone, possibly sooner than any of us think

Then maybe, that day, you might feel something positive for me

Agonizing moments of self reflection, extending outward for a hand to grasp

You'll mainly have yourself at that time and feel free at last…

Point every finger you have, at me

Leaving, sometimes is the only thing I've ever felt “should be”, at least for me…

Everytime, nearly, that I've asked for help it has fallen upon deaf ears…

And I've spent so long screaming for it, literally years…

Silence, so many years left in the dark, simply searching for that spark.

Eventually I'll find the strength to be alright, if I can just stay another day, not give up on this fight