I forgive you

I forgive you for all the lies

The manipulation and abruptly cut ties

For the sneaky behavior and blatant deciet

I knew better, our foundation wasn't set in concrete

I forgive you for the all the love bombs,

that triclked down to nothing's, because you can do no wrong…

I forgive you for always being a victim for your circumstances

Even though you were the one to cause all your happenstances…

I forgive you for digging your hole, that you made it deep…

I always knew holding a space for you, would make me sink

I chose to let you go, and I choose forgiveness too

I chose to move on and to not reconcile with you...

I forgive you for your jealousy for me,

I know it ain't easy to walk in your own shoes and to actually just be…

I saw you, even through all the lies, manuplatin and deciet

You were always the weak one, it was never me.

Little boy

Little boy, little boy

Running from himself

Little boy, little boy

Always hidden behind a mask of “wanting to help”

Little boy, little boy

His arrogance, oh it runs deep

Little boy, little boy

One that now, I could never keep

Little boy, little boy

How of late, do you sleep?

Little boy, little boy

Poor life choices, enjoy what you reap!

Cycles

I don't know how much louder one could have screamed,

Just to be heard but, to go unseen

Only to have their voice echo back to them from the silence

From the inner tournament, the violence

Unwavering, unchanging life, all consuming

It became overly draining

Day in, day out, ever forward, yet never changing

Life stagnating, unable, unwilling to be open for life rearranging

Living in a long drawn cycle of sorrow and pain

Almost to the point of certainty, as predictable as the rain

All the while, still moving forward, long steady stride

Seemingly alone, if only you could meet their eyes

Perhaps just walk alongside them, with patience kindness and grace

Not everyone realizes they are walking in circles, some just need help out of that place.

Dear cowards, 11:11

For those who are too childish and inept to give a simple apology, they go miles… accountability closes distances… honesty is huge, with others and ourselves…

I'm glad to see the practice of hypocrisy is alive and well!

Feel free to keep projecting on to me, at least I'm out of that hell..

You are the people who just lie and manipulate to get whatever outcome that serves themselves the best,

But what really, seriously? fuck the rest?…

You act so well concerned for everyone else

When in reality you want to hold what you do for them over their head, to serve yourself!!

Barely even breadcrumbs of appreciation…

It's okay, I see how I matter to you all, YAY our segregation!

So friendly to the face, yet so fast for casting so many stones

While they're nostalgically hidden behind their glass walls, “safe” in their homes

The ones who hide and run from themselves, to stay clear

Unable to even look honestly, in a single mirror

You can run until the end of the life you were given,

Without ever having truly experienced the blessings that were hidden.

Withdrawal

Withdrawing into myself

It's the only place I'm safe, my slate

Away from all the energy,

That is full of hate

Only I can count on me,

A subject recognized as of late

I'm starting to disbelieve

In things like love and fate

Unwanted, from before I was even born

A wound I've been internalizing

Making my soul just feel tired, worn

Situations and people, their ideas and goals,

I'm no longer torn

Life's fire, to turn to coals

The pain, the hate, the hurt that people continue to give

Keep that S*** coming!

They are becoming my own life lessons,

On how not to live

Every slander, and every distrust

They really are the things that build our character, the bad moments help to make or break us.

Boundaries

You can't control who loves you,

You can only control who you let in.

Eric's goodbye

In the space, the void

That time, that you created

The Joy, understanding and love that was cultivated

It began to rot and became degraded

Alas, I'm sure when the wind finds you, you'll be elated

I never told you a lie when I said I didn't care

at least not like others, never made you unaware

That I'm sure now, you've also discovered

Care is a light word, for a heart unrecovered

You tried to make me into something I'm not, it's okay...

My entire life is that same fight.... fought

Doors I left open, I must now close

I guess this was the end of our proverbial road...

I'm taking my energy back, back to singular hopes and dreams

Back again, to a sense of solitary.

(so much for having faith in you)